~~~ Thanks Mom! ~~~

"Education commences at the mother's knee, and every

word spoken within the hearing of little children tends

towards the formation of character." - Hosea Ballou

My mother taught me about the FOOD GROUPS - "If you put

one foot outside that door, you're not getting any

home-made bread."

My mother taught me CONTORTIONS - "Have you seen the dirt

on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me to STAND FIRM - "You'll sit there 'till

all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "Looks as if a tornado

swept through your room."

My mother taught me PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "What if I yelled

because I saw a meteor coming down toward you; would you

jump then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you

once I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you

into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR PROGRAMMING - "Stop

acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less

fortunate children who don't have parents like you!"

- Compiled and told by LaughALot@editors.crosswalk.com

What did you mother teach YOU?

Send additions & new family jokes to: family@laughalot.com

Laugh-A-Lot! member contributors: Bob Bridges, Peta Clark, Brady

& Steph Smith, Sue Rabeaux, Brad Davis, and Bert Pasquale